Child Development Books Help You "Keep Your Cool"
"Although it is questionable whether you can follow any single book to the letter in raising your children, there are many which may help."
Today's Almanac post about our kids being little turds.
Seriously!
Everyone has their own opinion on how to deal with kids and their negative behavior. We touched just a little on kids developing their behavioral skills before in this post in February.
The key is to help yourself as your kid has a full blown tantrum at home or in public.
Just listen to my tale:
We have an ongoing battle with my toddler. He refuses to eat. Like food is what makes you live and this kid won't eat. I have seen kids eat and they are like unicorns. I love watching other people's kids eat because it gives me hope that my toddler will one day sit for a meal and not survive off milk and crackers.
He attends daycare and eats well there. Snacks and lunch are served and he tells me what he had that day. Then we get home and BOOM! I brought home a kids who doesn't eat.
Tonight he had chips for dinner. He might have squeezed in some guacamole, cheese, and taco meat on some of the chips. For the most part his dinner was tortilla chips.
And he cried about the plate when we sat for dinner. Like real tears crying.
But you known what! I take what I can get!
Another thing he hates is holding hands.
He wants to walk by himself and cries if you try to guide him with your hand.
I have walked in our downtown with this kid.
I have carried him kicking and screaming through a crosswalk because he wouldn't hold my hand.
I was really praying no one would think a kidnapping was occurring.
This is why those kid leashes exist.
Some parent out there had a child like mine who would run off in an instant.
What I have learned is that I cannot control his emotional outbursts, but I can control mine.
Here is something comforting from our Almanac:
"Knowing what to expect in growth and development will help you understand your child."
I totally understand my toddler hates food with a passion.
I also understand that this won't last forever!
This topic isn't here to help us control their behavior.
It is to help us understand them while they are being little turds.
Yes my little 3 year old, I understand you want me to turn left and not right at the traffic light. I understand that since I turned right you felt the need to throw your toy at me from the backseat.
(true story. this happened this week)
It is hard to keep our cool!
Children are irrational!
They react without thinking.
They don't understand consequence.
They are completely selfish.
BUT
If we as the adults begin to lash out in anger and frustration, it really helps nobody.
Staying calm with help the situation.
Calmness and calm voices help to ease anxieties.
None of this means that we ought to excuse their behavior.
I calmly (try to) explain why their reactions to situations are not acceptable. Throwing a toy at mom while she is driving is not acceptable and I made that completely clear.
Not holding my hand at a cross walk is not acceptable. So it's ok that you cry as I carry you.
As our kids get older, they will start to understand our emotional state.
They pick up on the tone of our voices.
They start to react to us in those instances.
I've noticed it with my older kids. When I'm upset they know it. Sometimes I feel bad but then I explain to them what is bothering me so that we start opening up that communication.
I want to encourage my kids to also open up to me when they are upset about something.
For the most part it is working.
I think it has also helped with trust.
I want them to trust me that they can open up and tell me what is bothering them.
So remember to try to keep your cool.
None of this lasts forever.
So enjoy the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Comments
Post a Comment